me: All scientists are hipsters, that's why they wear glasses.
me: "I stopped working on electromagnetic induction. It was too current."
me: "I used to have a passion for oceanography but I got sick of talking about the mainstream."
me: "Of course I'm not a mathematician. Calculus-based models of the universe are SO derivative."
me: "I'm an expert on geothermal vents--"
husband: Oh my God.
me: "--They're probably too deep for you."